No Tub? No Problem!

Guest blogging with us today is Alicia Ford!

We are so grateful that Alicia was willing to share this life hack with us! She is a wonderful wife who has been married for eight years, an amazing mother of four boys, and a super busy homeschooling mamma to her two oldest boys. In her spare time she uses her creativity to make beautiful cakes and capture precious moments with her photography skills. On top of all this, Alicia also graduated last year from BYU with a bachelors in marriage and family studies.

Life hack #469 

Ok, so when we moved to our new house, we knew there was no tub. We loved it so much that we thought we could do without one. What we failed to realize was that a tub is not just a luxury for bubbles and candles. No, no... Its a necessity. End of story. Whether you have a toddler covered in spaghetti and red sauce, or a 5 year old stepped in mud, or your baby just had the poosplosion of the century, you are gonna have times where you just NEED to use a bath. Necessity always seems to be the mother of invention, and in our case it was. 

We got a plastic storage tub and put it in our shower. At first, we were so happy to have SOMETHING there instead of nothing, as the water soaked our faces, arms, and front sides and the floor in front of our shower. As with anything, there was room for improvement, dumping the water was annoying and HEAVY, and the shower nozzle still got water everywhere (although not as bad as before). One day our shower nozzle broke! It looked like a little hose! That's when I got my idea for our bathtub hack.  

We drilled a hole in the bottom of our tub (just one was enough to let it drain slowly so I didn't have to dump it, but not fast enough to let all the water out right away if the plug was bumped). Because our shower nozzle was just a "hose" now, it would spray a solid stream, but totally out of control, so I took some photography backdrop clamps (found on Amazon for around 6 bucks back in June) and clamped one to the side of the tub and one clamped to the hose and other clamp. The "hose" was no longer flailing, we had a steady stream, we had a drain (conveniently right above our shower drain) and a plug that we picked up at the "do it" store. Voila! We had a tub. And we love our ghetto tub! And when I *really* need to hose them down, I unhook one of the clamps and I can blast any mess!

Testing 1...2...

My 13 month old son is fairly small for his age, weighing in at just under 17lbs. He has grown approximately 2 inches and gained almost 2lbs since his 6 month check up. It wasn't alarming at first because he has always eaten great and seemed to be proportionate. 

He has been fussy and has had issues with sleeping the majority of his little life. So we went in for his year well check and immunization appointment hoping to get a few answers. What we came to find was shocking to us -- our son wasn't even on the charts. I knew he was small, but I guess because he looked and ate normally I wasn't expecting him to be that small. They mentioned the phrase "failure to thrive". Failure to thrive!? What? How can a child who nurses, eats regularly, looks normal, and acts developmentally normal not be thriving?

We didn't know that he had stopped growing entirely. We began to be more worried with each passing moment about his lack of growth. His pediatrician wanted to give us a bit of time to see if we could get him to put on some weight. We had no such luck.

We returned after almost a month feeling defeated and now with some serious worry. His pediatrician ordered some blood work and tested for the usual suspects: kidney function, liver function, immune system, thyroid, celiac etc.

The blood draw was a horrible experience. Not because the phlebotomists were horrible, but because my son thrashed and screamed with pain, sadness, and confusion. His blood draw required three tries and two different people to get an adequate amount of blood for testing. They had to poke and re-poke, digging around in his little arm to find his vein. Once that was all over the ladies gave us space and let me hold him and nurse him. 

We waited not so patiently for the results and when they finally came we got some non-news. We were grateful that most of the tests came back negative, but we were still uneasy about the lack of a definitive answer. We were told that his amino acids were off and that further testing would be beneficial to check for, and hopefully rule out, a genetic disorder.

Cue the deja vu!

We were glad to have my in-laws with us this time. They were so sweet to come and support our little guy. Fortunately this time around they needed less blood. But, unfortunately this time proved to be a bit more difficult.

The first set of phlebotomists were unable to get any blood and eventually gave up after my son bit one of them. The second set of phlebotomists both tried and finally one of them who was the third and final person to try got it! Once again my husband and I had to hold our son down and watch him as he screamed and thrashed around. Huge tears ran down his face the entire time. Thankfully it seemed slightly less painful once they actually got the blood going. They retrieved the single vile of blood and we were able to get going.

Currently we are waiting for the blood tests to come back and don't expect any news for a week or two. Even though we would like answers we are waiting and hoping for negative results.
Until then we are still trying to fatten him up though it seems pointless and unsuccessful.

Do you have any favorite snacks or meals that are extra nutrient filled and or fattening? We would love to hear your ideas!

Thanks so much!

Leaving

I have a part time job working two nights a week at a hotel near our home. It's a wonderful place to work and they treat me incredibly well. However, leaving my son those two nights a week is getting more and more difficult the older he gets.

I kiss those squishy cheeks goodbye over and over and I hesitate as I open the door.

A lot of families make sacrifices so they can have a stay at home parent. I wonder if those who are in that situation understand that it is a sacrifice for working moms as well. It's heart breaking and difficult for me to leave my little one and go to work. However, in our current situation working outside of the home is necessary.

I work nights for exactly this reason. I work overnight so that I can be home with my son during the day. Not only because the cost of child care is out of reach but because I want to be home with my son. I want to be the one caring for him.

This schedule is physically, mentally, and emotionally taxing at times. I often go twenty-four or more hours without sleep multiple times a week. I do this for my husband and I do this for my child. Every mother makes sacrifices for their family, this just happens to be something I am doing for the time being for mine. It wont last forever and it certainly is worth it.

A lot of people remind young mothers who express grief over their current life challenges: "it goes by so fast, so treasure it while you can". They say this out of love and they say it from the heart. I have a feeling in my mind and soul that what they say is true: that someday most mothers look back with fondness and a longing. That we get to a point of sweet nostalgia. I think the struggles become forgotten or at least the pain of it fades. Perhaps it's a blessing to see past difficulties through rose colored glasses. So that we can better focus on the blessings of mothering our children.

This truth, however, does not and should not negate the current struggles of motherhood, because motherhood is difficult, challenging, and trying. It's not meant to be easy and it shouldn't be! These struggles allow us to dig deeper. It stretches us as individuals. That stretching allows for change and hopefully growth (if we let it).

It's easy to lose track while you're elbow deep in poo, rushing here and there, and washing load after load of dirty laundry. It's good to be reminded of the more important, eternal view. So we can readjust our focus while we are about the day to day mothering. This is why at some point, when I have passed this phase in my life, I have a feeling I will say to a young mother: "it goes by so fast, so treasure it while you can." Not as a patronizing "you should appreciate this time more!", but as a "you can do it, keep going, it's all worth it in the end."

Going to work, having to leave my son and being sleep deprived are all temporary. I hope I can stay centered and focused and keep a more eternal view. 

Meal Time: Some Experience Necessary

When my son first started eating "solid" foods I naively believed that I could put a bib on him and call it good. The messes that ensued were impressive to say the least. I decided to ditch the bib and keep him stripped down to his diaper for each meal. Of course to some this might seem utterly trashy, but no need to worry, I only did this in the privacy of my own home...

As your child reaches the milestone of eating "regular" food you become well acquainted with the monotony of the daily mealtime grind. The naked as a jay bird thing cut down on the excess laundry substantially but nothing could take away the chore of cleaning off that blasted high chair tray meal after meal - or was there?

There was! Laugh if you must but I began using a towel to cover his tray and I would reuse the towel throughout the day and throw it in the wash at the end of the day. Coming full circle we are back to an increase in laundry.

There is no win/win in this situation. So instead I decided to be less "lazy" and resume the laborious task of cleaning off his tray in between meals. At this point in time my little Mr. rarely needs to be stripped down to his drawers for meal time. Not because he is less messy, but because I have come to terms with the excess laundry.

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Do you have any genius tips or tricks? What about any interesting or amusing stories from your solid food adventures?

We would love to hear from you!

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Many Thanks and Happy Meal Time!

Birth Without Shame

A soon to be mother that I know asked for advice from her mommy friends on labor and delivery. There were many great replies to her questions and I'm glad she asked! It's great to hear from many different mom's on this subject. You could see the outpouring of support for her through the various comments.

What concerns me however, are the people who are often well meaning but end up shaming mothers and mothers-to-be about the birth process. I didn't want this mamma-to-be to feel any of that pressure and I surely do not want her to feel any of the shame, sadness, or disappointment that I felt after my son’s birth.

I feel like I have to explain away my birth story and I am really frustrated and saddened by this.

One of my sister-in-laws has had an epidural with her last three babies. There is no shame in that! My sister prefers natural birth and that is the way her last child was born. There is no shame in that either; in fact, there is no shame in whatever way your baby comes into this world. Things often don't go as planned regarding pregnancy, birth, and raising children. As mothers, I feel that we need to be prepared for this.

I was set on having a natural birth and my physician was very supportive of this. He expressed that as long as I was in good health I wouldn't even need an IV. I was nervous, but excited to try for a natural birthing experience. When the birth of my son didn't go the way I had planned I felt a bit defeated. No one should feel that way!

My son came at 37 weeks and 3 days via an induced vaginal birth. The physicians made the decision to induce because I had preeclampsia. I believe I had been suffering from it for awhile, but the doctors didn't catch it right away. I think they didn't notice it for many reasons, but mostly because my blood pressure is normally perfect to slightly low and during the majority of the pregnancy my blood pressure was very low. So when my blood pressure started to come up it didn't seem like a bad thing at first, as it was still within normal range. Another reason I feel contributed to a later diagnosis was that I had gained so little weight in the first two trimesters that when I started to gain weight it was a welcome change. 

For a few months my feet were so swollen that they only fit into one pair of shoes and even those left marks on my feet. They were huge! My feet were not the only parts of me that were swelling to an unusual size. My face and hands were also swelling. I started to have a horrible headache that never went away no matter what I did. And to top it off I was constantly nauseous. I chalked this all up to normal pregnancy discomforts and left it at that. It wasn't until I had gained 11 lbs in one week that they took any notice. 

 

After a doctors visit and a few trips to the hospital they determined that I was going to have to stay and that the safest course of action was to induce my labor. They wanted to avoid an emergency c-section.

I had two days of "natural" contractions that were brought on by the medication they gave me to soften my cervix. I was stuck in a hospital bed, tethered to an IV and was only allowed to get up to use the bathroom.

On day three they started the pitocin. I had pitocin induced contractions for 15 1/2 hours before I became systolic. I was given an epidural to bring my blood pressure down. At this point I still wasn't dilating past a 3. I felt like I was going nowhere and getting there fast. It was so frustrating! 

This snails pace didn't last very long after getting the epidural. It was only an hour and a half before it wore off and by that time I was ready to push. I only pushed a few times and my son made his entrance. After several days with no sleep and near constant contractions we had survived! I was tired, but oh so happy to have an alert and healthy little one in my arms.

It wasn't until we had rested up a bit and people started asking questions and wanting to know about my birth experience that the unease settled in. It felt as though I had to justify everything about the birth to people. I felt judged and I began to feel defeated. As though the marathon I had gone through was somehow inferior because I had been induced, I had gotten an epidural, and I didn't have a truly natural birth.

Everyone's experience is going to be different. Everyone's body and baby are different. No one should try to force you or shame you into giving birth in a particular way or shame you for the experience that you did have. Have a plan, but be open to change as well. You know your body and baby better then anyone else. Your birthing experience is your own and whether it is natural or induced, by c-section or with an epidural, it is a special experience and an incredible accomplishment.