Poopy Days - Guest Post!

This poopy day is straight from the life of Melissa from withasmile.wordpress.com! She has many more wonderful stories of motherhood on her site, so check it out!

She is a wonderful wife, mother, and friend (who happens to blog) and we are grateful that she has agreed to share one of her poopiest days with us! 

Thanks Melissa!

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I woke up this morning feeling awful, but I was determined to go to church no matter what. Going to church, however, turned out to be much more difficult than I’d anticipated. The morning started reasonably enough. Everyone slept in until 10am, which was a real treat. I fed everyone breakfast, the kids tidied their bedrooms, I packed the diaper bag and snacks for Nursery, I set out dresses, tights, suits, ties, shoes, and clean underwear for each of the kids. Normal, right?

Then Sophie, our puppy, pulled a stinky diaper out of the garbage and chewed a hole in it! The results were pungent and disgusting, to say the least. I should have taken this as a bad sign, but I forged ahead in spite of my very nauseated stomach.

By this time it was nearly 11am so I had one more hour to finish getting everyone ready. Looking back, I am amazed at how much can happen in just one hour! I threw chicken nuggets and french fries into the oven, set the timer, and filled the bathtub with water. Everyone was standing naked around me, and Braden was fussing because he didn’t want a bath.

Joshua was first to be bathed. As I was rinsing his hair, Maddie came into the bathroom and grabbed the toilet plunger. Thinking she wanted to play with it, I took it back from her. She started to cry and turned quickly to leave. And when she turned I saw that her entire bottom was covered in poop from her waist to her knees! Yikes!

I realized that Maddie was probably after the plunger for a reason so I told Maddie not to move, asked Brenna to watch Braden, handed Joshua a towel as he stepped from the tub, and hurried to the other upstairs bathroom. What a sight! The toilet was flooded and there was poop, toilet paper, and water all over the floor. Amid the tangle of wet TP and doo-doo, was Sophie… happily eating feces out of Maddie’s poop-filled pull-up!! I’ve seen a lot of poop-tastrophies in my time as a mom, but this one was the worst!

I grabbed Sophie (who was covered in poo), shut the bathroom door to hide the offending scene, and put the poopy puppy outside until I could deal with her. I scrubbed Maddie clean with too many wipes to count and stood her in the bathroom. I helped Brenna into the tub and started washing her hair. As I was working up a good lather, with Braden and Maddie both whining next to me and Sophie yapping to be let inside, I heard Joshua holler, “Mommy, the fries are burning!”

I’d forgotten about lunch in the oven! I hadn’t heard the timer beeping amid all the crying, whining, and barking. I told Brenna to rinse her hair and raced downstairs with Joshy- who was still naked- to pull the chicken nuggets and fries from the oven. Thankfully, they weren’t too overdone. But in my haste, I did burn my hand on the scalding metal oven rack. I screeched for a second and nearly dropped the baking sheet full of hot nuggets and fries.

As I recovered and set the tray on the stove, Joshua said with pity in his voice, “I knew that hurt by the noise you made.” He pointed to a larger oven mitt and suggested gently, “Maybe next time you should use this one instead.”

I flipped off the oven, hurried upstairs again, and double-checked Brenna’s rinse job. She’d done a great job rinsing her hair and I was glad that, at nearly six years old, she is old enough that I could leave her for a moment in the tub while I prevented our kitchen from burning down.  I helped her out of the tub and it was then that I decided that Braden was clean enough to forgo his bath. Too many unexpected things had happened, I still had lots of poop to clean up, everyone was naked and whining, and I was rapidly running out of time.

Maddie, however, did need a bath after her morning poo fiasco. I lifted her into the tub and washed her up, which was painful now that my finger was burned. As I finished bathing Maddie, Joshua- trying to be helpful- let our barking, poop-covered Sophie back into the house. Thankfully the carpet didn’t end up with too much poop on it before I found out and told Josh to put the dog back outside again.

With baths done, I took everyone downstairs and dished up lunch. The kids all ate naked and wrapped in their bath towels, but what can I say- I was in a hurry. I grabbed stinky Sophie from the backyard and plopped her in the tub. Just as I dumped a handful of puppy shampoo into my hand, I discovered that Sophie is now tall enough to leap out of the bathtub on her own. So I chased my poopy, dripping wet dog through the house with one hand burned and the other hand full of shampoo. For being a small dog, Sophie sure is fast! And as exhausted and queasy as I was, I was in no mood to chase anything. I was able to finally snatch her up, and finish washing her. Then I quickly Clorox-ed the bathroom and plunged the toilet.

The kids were still eating lunch so I put on a skirt and dressy shirt, washed my face, and fixed my hair. No time for a shower today! I washed my hands and arms thoroughly though, necessary after all the poo I’d dealt with so far that morning. Lucky for me, nearly six years of having children has enabled me to do things very quickly. I was in and out of my bedroom in no time.

I wiped Braden off head to toe with baby wipes, and dressed Maddie and Braden in their church outfits. I helped Joshua button his buttons, tucked in his shirt, and untucked his pants from his black dress socks. I fixed everyone’s hair and warmed up a bbq sandwich for Rick to eat on the way to church.

As I came out of the kitchen- exhausted, sick, overwhelmed by all that had happened in just one hour, and amazed that we were ready with time to spare- I found my four sweet children sitting on the couch together. Brenna was reading aloud from a story book about Jacob and his sons. They all looked so angelic. It warmed my heart to see them that way and it lifted my spirits up again.

What a crazy, crazy, crazy morning it was! But it was truly worth it to attend church today! And at least my crazy, poopy morning makes a great story to tell! 

The kids reading together before church…

My four little sweeties…