Connection

Being a mother you have your own special connection with your child(ren). It allows you to be their advocate, their caregiver, their biggest cheerleader. It is something that most non-mothers cannot fully understand and, at times, it seems rather ethereal.

Every morning I know exactly when he's woken up because I wake up too, usually because of a random twitch. I'm not sure if this twitch somehow wakes him up in the other room or if my body wakes me up because it knows he's awake. My husband is often in disbelief when I let him know that he's awake, even before he has made a sound.

My son's life hasn't been a cake walk -- I'm not sure anyone's life is. He was in pain for the majority of his first year if life and suffered from an array of unpleasant symptoms and side affects from various causes. He has always been small and continued to get smaller for his age as time went by. Eventually he was labeled: Failure to Thrive. I felt like a failure, like I had let my sweet little one down somehow. I was doing the best I could, trying to do everything "right".

I felt from the beginning that something was up. Every time I pushed we would figure out a little piece of the puzzle. We have gotten to the point where he is in therapies of all kinds and is making amazing progress. The pain he was experiencing has faded, he actually sleeps, he can talk and say more words, he has become more social, and really seems much happier.

The only thing left unresolved was his size. It wasn't an intake issue or an absorption problem. His doctors had ruled that and so many other things out. I still wasn't convinced that everything was taken care of. It was nagging at my heart and brain. Something was still off.  Luckily we found wonderful doctors who have the expertise and experience to help my son. After last week's long and exhausting testing we have finally gotten some answers. He isn't producing a sufficient amount of Growth Hormone. 

My son still has a few more tests and procedures before he starts taking the growth hormone medicine. Because we caught it so early the outlook is good. With treatment he should be able to grow to a normal adult size. We still have a lot to learn and a long way to go, but at least now we have a direction.

Moms know. They have a connection with their child(ren). Mothers can't and don't know everything. Moms aren't perfect and they don't have all of the answers. But we do have love and intuition.