MRI

Last Friday our son had an MRI and because of his age he needed to be under general anesthesia. It took about an hour from the time they put him under until they brought him back to his recovery room. From there it took him just over thirty minuets to wake up and for them to take the tube out of his throat.

The hospital surgery waiting room was a depressing place filled with anxiety. We waited not so patiently for our little guy to wake up. Once they were able to take the tube out we were allowed to go back and see him. He did amazing and I was very grateful for his sweet recovery nurse. While he was waking up he snuggled with me. He sipped on apple juice and ate some jello to sooth his sore throat. It was a difficult moment when they took off all of the wires and tubes, but he was in my arms so I think (or hope) that helped. We felt very blessed that he had a speedy and easy recovery from the anesthesia. He was extra whiny, but for the most part he played, napped, and ate soft foods for the remainder of the day. 

Over the weekend we worried about the results, but kept it together. We heard back from his doctors office on the following Monday and we were relived to hear that he doesn't have a tumor or any abnormalities in his pituitary. In a week or so he should be starting the HGH medication. We are nervous about giving him daily injections, but feel at peace knowing this is the best thing for him.

Being a mom is no easy task. No matter what trials, struggles or health issues that you and your family may or may not have to go through. It's going to be challenging at some point no matter who you are. Recently I have felt that these challenging times affirm our great capacity to love. Being a mother wouldn't be as hard as it is if we didn't love our children so much. Motherhood isn't always wonderful, but it is always worth it.

Connection

Being a mother you have your own special connection with your child(ren). It allows you to be their advocate, their caregiver, their biggest cheerleader. It is something that most non-mothers cannot fully understand and, at times, it seems rather ethereal.

Every morning I know exactly when he's woken up because I wake up too, usually because of a random twitch. I'm not sure if this twitch somehow wakes him up in the other room or if my body wakes me up because it knows he's awake. My husband is often in disbelief when I let him know that he's awake, even before he has made a sound.

My son's life hasn't been a cake walk -- I'm not sure anyone's life is. He was in pain for the majority of his first year if life and suffered from an array of unpleasant symptoms and side affects from various causes. He has always been small and continued to get smaller for his age as time went by. Eventually he was labeled: Failure to Thrive. I felt like a failure, like I had let my sweet little one down somehow. I was doing the best I could, trying to do everything "right".

I felt from the beginning that something was up. Every time I pushed we would figure out a little piece of the puzzle. We have gotten to the point where he is in therapies of all kinds and is making amazing progress. The pain he was experiencing has faded, he actually sleeps, he can talk and say more words, he has become more social, and really seems much happier.

The only thing left unresolved was his size. It wasn't an intake issue or an absorption problem. His doctors had ruled that and so many other things out. I still wasn't convinced that everything was taken care of. It was nagging at my heart and brain. Something was still off.  Luckily we found wonderful doctors who have the expertise and experience to help my son. After last week's long and exhausting testing we have finally gotten some answers. He isn't producing a sufficient amount of Growth Hormone. 

My son still has a few more tests and procedures before he starts taking the growth hormone medicine. Because we caught it so early the outlook is good. With treatment he should be able to grow to a normal adult size. We still have a lot to learn and a long way to go, but at least now we have a direction.

Moms know. They have a connection with their child(ren). Mothers can't and don't know everything. Moms aren't perfect and they don't have all of the answers. But we do have love and intuition.